New Brunswickers celebrate Victoria Justice Day

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: New Brunswickers celebrate Victoria Justice Day

Fredericton — On May 23, New Brunswickers will be celebrating the queen… of Nickelodeon. The New Brunswick government is trying to connect with young voters by transforming a stale holiday tradition into a hip celebration honouring a pop-culture icon: Victoria Justice. “Honestly, most New Brunswickers know nothing about Queen Victoria and don’t connect at all with this holiday. It’s…

Source: The Manatee
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NB woman: Trudeau also elbowed my chest

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: NB woman: Trudeau also elbowed my chest

Sussex Corner — It’s often said that you need sharp elbows to be in politics, and now revelations about the prime minister are showing that to be the case about him. In the wake of yesterday’s uproar in the House of Commons, new allegations of inelegant elbowing are being made by a New Brunswick woman. “It hurt…

Source: The Manatee
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Poll: Fire is ‘kind of an a**hole’

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: Poll: Fire is ‘kind of an a**hole’

Miramichi — Although it’s been a source of heat and energy crucial to the survival of man since the Stone Age, a recent poll of new Brunswickers reveals that fire’s popularity has reached an all-time low. Despite the prevalence of fire and combustion in their everyday lives, more people than ever before self-identify as “anti-fire,”…

Source: The Manatee
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Rousselle’s multiple personalities divided on beer ruling

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: Rousselle’s multiple personalities divided on beer ruling

Fredericton — Brian Gallant’s lucky number of 13 ministers may be the smallest cabinet in 50 years, but wearing so many hats may be causing issues with the team’s mental health. In some cases, a minister’s profession or posts could come into conflict with each other causing mental stress and confusion. Some experts believe this role overload…

Source: The Manatee
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Saint John collecting tourist urine

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: Saint John collecting tourist urine

Saint John — This summer, the Port City is hoping that visitors to will help put the “p” in “phosphorus.” Using a patented process, Saint John is piloting a program to prospect phosphorus by procuring pee from portable potties. Patterned after a popular Dutch program from Amsterdam, dozens of shoulder-high urine collectors will be placed throughout the uptown in June…

Source: The Manatee
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Deer now an endangered species; hunting season cancelled

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: Deer now an endangered species; hunting season cancelled

Kennebecasis Valley — Oh deer! The Department of Natural Resources today responded the release of the 2016 deer population statistics by reclassifying whitetail deer as a “species at risk” in the province of New Brunswick. Along with the bald eagle and the Canada lynx, the whitetail deer will now have a protected status and will…

Source: The Manatee
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Shipyard bailout ‘totally not’ like Atcon, Liberals claim 

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: Shipyard bailout ‘totally not’ like Atcon, Liberals claim 

Bas-Caraquet — Failing company dependent on government to stay afloat: check. Taxpayer money committed based on misleading or false information: check. Government bailout to save jobs: check. Public funds used to pay company’s unpaid bills: check. Same minister and deputy-minister: check. There are many similarities, but the Liberal government strongly maintains that the New Brunswick…

Source: The Manatee
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New Brunswickers long for death’s sweet embrace

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: New Brunswickers long for death’s sweet embrace

Moncton — While the spring weather envelops New Brunswick in brilliant sunshine, new life and warmer temperatures, many shiftless citizens of the province are longing subconsciously for the final release of their grave’s cold, eternal sleep. Some are speculating that many New Brunswickers are trying to end their hopeless, miserable existence by knowingly indulging in…

Source: The Manatee
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