Tag: General Information

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: Report: ‘Pretty sure that guy is high,’ says your grandmother

Saint John — Keep your eyes on that person over there, and those people behind that building too. She doesn’t like the looks of them, and they are almost certainly “stoned out of their gourds.” According to a new report released today by your grandmother, anyone that seems “iffy” to her in any way is…

Source: The Manatee
Permalink: Report: ‘Pretty sure that guy is high,’ says your grandmother
 

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: Government: Smoking is OK now

Fredericton — In a sudden and dramatic reversal, the federal and provincial governments of Canada are burning up their previous public health warnings about smoking. Starting today with the legalization of pot, smoking is once again set to become a hot new trend across the nation. In New Brunswick in particular, lighting up a dried…

Source: The Manatee
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From Shawn on “The Manatee”: NB Green Party gives tips on playing ‘hard to get’

Fredericton — David Coon and his new team of two MLAs are giving out tips on how to seem interested in getting together…but not too interested, if you know what he means. Today in Fredericton, the granola-eating tree-hugging yoga-loving party said that the key to playing political “hard to get” is really as simple as getting…

Source: The Manatee
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From Shawn on “The Manatee”: Gallant, Higgs agree to joint custody of New Brunswick

Fredericton — New Brunswick Liberals and Tories called a family meeting on Tuesday to announce that there will be some big changes happening at the House, but it’s not anything that anyone should be worried about. In a historic and unconventional custody agreement, Brian Gallant and Blaine Higgs announced today that they will share power…

Source: The Manatee
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From Shawn on “The Manatee”: People’s Alliance vows to remain true to fringe wingnuts

Fredericton — Kris Austin is telling his supporters not to worry. His homemade party is still crazy — crazy like a fox that is! — but also still crazy in the normal batshit kind of way that earned them 12.6 per cent of the popular vote in Monday’s election. “Our supporters are asking if we’re…

Source: The Manatee
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From Shawn on “The Manatee”: Quebec offers to take over New Brunswick for a while

Quebec City — The province next door is taking a page from the Bible, and offering to “love its neighbour as thyself” during New Brunswick’s time of governing uncertainty. “Look, we don’t want to step on tes orteils, but we can pitch in to help run things while you sort this out,” volunteered Quebec Premier Philippe…

Source: The Manatee
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From Shawn on “The Manatee”: NB lieutenant-governor mandates election ‘do-over’

Fredericton — Like a golfer calling a mulligan for a lost golf ball, New Brunswick’s lieutenant-governor is calling for a 2018 election “do-over” after a very mixed result on Monday night. “Hey, who else needed to Google me today to find out who the hell I am?” laughed Lieutenant-Governor Jocelyne Roy-Vienneau. “I mean, it’s not like I’ve…

Source: The Manatee
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From Shawn on “The Manatee”: ‘The Manatee News’ looks back at the 2018 NB Election

New Brunswick — It’s finally here, just in the nick of time before we ran out of grass for more political signs. Today is Election day in New Brunswick! So in honour of our illustrious political leaders, ‘The Manatee News’ is looking back at some of our favourite moments of the 2018 provincial election campaign. And,…

Source: The Manatee
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