Rothesay passes bylaw against dogs pooping outdoors

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: Rothesay passes bylaw against dogs pooping outdoors

Rothesay – With the scourge of hearse-driving millennials seemingly dealt with, the Town of Rothesay, N.B. has turned its focus to a new public nuisance. Last night, council voted unanimously in favour of a new bylaw restricting outdoor dog defecation. Beginning Aug. 1, all crouching canines are prohibited from pooping in public. Any outdoor dog…

Source: The Manatee
Permalink: Rothesay passes bylaw against dogs pooping outdoors
 

One year later: Justin Timberlake still can’t stop the feeling

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: One year later: Justin Timberlake still can’t stop the feeling

Big Sky, Montana — Today in an exclusive interview, Justin Timberlake opened up again about his struggles with his dark and brooding feelings. One year after first sharing his story publicly, Timberlake revealed that no matter where he goes or what he does, he still just can’t stop the feeling. “I got this feeling inside…

Source: The Manatee
Permalink: One year later: Justin Timberlake still can’t stop the feeling
 

Tourist gives up while driving in downtown Halifax

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: Tourist gives up while driving in downtown Halifax

Halifax — The famous Trooper song talks about being here for a “good time, not a long time,” but the reverse is true for a hapless tourist who attempted to drive in downtown Halifax at 5 p.m. yesterday. Betty-Ann Myers, an 82-year-old resident of Petitcodiac, N.B. “just totally gave up” while trying to navigate the…

Source: The Manatee
Permalink: Tourist gives up while driving in downtown Halifax
 

Trump to break up with Canada, trade with ‘younger, hotter’ country

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: Trump to break up with Canada, trade with ‘younger, hotter’ country

Washington D.C. — During his daily 5 a.m. poop tweet session on Sunday morning, U.S. President Donald Trump shocked Canadians by musing openly about walking out on Canada to trade with a “younger, hotter” country. “Canada is 150 years old?” he tweeted. “Didn’t realize, wow…so old, hardly ever warm. Need to start trading with younger,…

Source: The Manatee
Permalink: Trump to break up with Canada, trade with ‘younger, hotter’ country
 

Listicle: Top 10 other clubs Justin Trudeau joined this week

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: Listicle: Top 10 other clubs Justin Trudeau joined this week

Ottawa — This past week, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau garnered delight and scorn as he became the newest member of “Gary’s Hug Club” on CBC Kids. After word of his new membership in Gary’s Hug Club lit up the Internet, the prime minister joined a number of other lesser-known clubs in an effort to reach…

Source: The Manatee
Permalink: Listicle: Top 10 other clubs Justin Trudeau joined this week
 

Baby boomers throw shade at new tax on ‘Transitions’ lenses

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: Baby boomers throw shade at new tax on ‘Transitions’ lenses

Fredericton — Many New Brunswick baby boomers are wearing their sunglasses at night due to the rampant popularity of Transitions prescription glasses. However, many feel the government is going to switch the blade on the guy in shades by introducing a new luxury tax on the lightless lenses. “We used to the think the government…

Source: The Manatee
Permalink: Baby boomers throw shade at new tax on ‘Transitions’ lenses
 

Report: New Brunswickers skeptical about existence of ‘ellipticals’

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: Report: New Brunswickers skeptical about existence of ‘ellipticals’

Saint John — In an online landscape full of fake news and media uncertainty, there is a new mystery concerning New Brunswick that is spreading around the Internet like a virus. On Wednesday, Google Trends released a report of the most often misspelled words in Canada by province. While Nova Scotians wrecked “yacht,” “colour” confounded Ontarians, and…

Source: The Manatee
Permalink: Report: New Brunswickers skeptical about existence of ‘ellipticals’
 

Climate withdraws from Donald Trump

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: Climate withdraws from Donald Trump

Washington D.C. — In an unprecedented move that has scientists puzzled and the Secret Service reeling, the climate of planet Earth has withdrawn from U.S. president Donald Trump. Now, as the president is kept alive by golden tanks of the most luxurious oxygen that money can buy, scientists are working feverishly to make the American respirate again. “I’ve…

Source: The Manatee
Permalink: Climate withdraws from Donald Trump