Moosehead releases virus to compete with ‘Corona’s virus’

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: Moosehead releases virus to compete with ‘Corona’s virus’

Saint John — Canada’s oldest independent brewer is attempting to infect what it calls “the world’s most contagious beer trend.” In an epic misunderstanding of current events, newly minted CEO Skippy Oland announced today that Moosehead plans to go toe-to-fungus-ridden-toe with the popular new “virus beer” getting all of the headlines. ‘We realize that Corona’s…

Source: The Manatee
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Duke, Duchess of Sussex moving to Sussex, New Brunswick

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: Duke, Duchess of Sussex moving to Sussex, New Brunswick

Sussex — The rampant speculation about Harry and Meghan’s new post-“Megxit” home ended earlier today. Representatives for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex announced that the royal couple is planning to make their new Canadian home in the dairy capital of the Maritimes — Sussex, N.B. “Meghan and Harry have always loved Canada, and being…

Source: The Manatee
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Saint John: Develop uptown but don’t change anything

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: Saint John: Develop uptown but don’t change anything

Saint John — Concerns over another decrepit building in uptown Saint John has sparked controversy between business interests and heritage advocates. This week, city councillors called upon J.D. Irving to restore a dilapidated building that they own next to a picturesque graveyard as well as their company headquarters. However, J.D. Irving spokesperson Keith Merry pushed…

Source: The Manatee
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5 election-triggering scenarios to watch for in N.B.

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: 5 election-triggering scenarios to watch for in N.B.

Fredericton — While the New Brunswick Legislature clusterfuck is still managing to stay viable, an early election might be unavoidable in 2020. The Tories hold power with 21 seats propped up by the kooky People’s Alliance. The Liberals have 20 seats, the granola Greens have three seats, and two vacant seats are ripe for by-elections….

Source: The Manatee
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N.B. gov’t finally finds next energy project on which to piss money away

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: N.B. gov’t finally finds next energy project on which to piss money away

Fredericton — After years of perseverance, New Brunswick has finally discovered its next fiasco that will lose billions of taxpayer dollars. Last week, Premier Blaine Higgs signed an agreement with Ontario and Saskatchewan to develop small modular reactors (SMR’s) — a new nuclear technology in its infancy. Now, the New Brunswick government is pledging to…

Source: The Manatee
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N.B. gov’t using notwithstanding clause to force kids to eat their vegetables

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: N.B. gov’t using notwithstanding clause to force kids to eat their vegetables

Fredericton — Beware everyone from toddlers to teenagers — the New Brunswick government is going to make you clean up your entire plate…or else! The Tory government announced today that it intends to pass legislation forcing children to eat up all of their vegetables at every single meal. If parents can’t demonstrate that their children…

Source: The Manatee
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NB’er wins luxury fishing shack in Dept. of Natural Resources Home Lottery

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: NB’er wins luxury fishing shack in Dept. of Natural Resources Home Lottery

Rothesay — As New Brunswick Hospital Home Lottery fever reaches its peak in the province, awards from other government-run home lotteries are now also being awarded. Today, retiree Hugo Cabane of Pokemouche, N.B. won the grand prize in the NB Department of Natural Resources Home Lottery. Next week, he’ll receive a luxury fishing shack in…

Source: The Manatee
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French car inspections can be every two years, says N.B. gov’t

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: French car inspections can be every two years, says N.B. gov’t

Fredericton — French-speaking people in New Brunswick are getting a break in the cost of owning a car. Starting in 2020, the provincial Department of Public Safety is proposing that any French passenger vehicle under 4,500 kg will only need to be inspected every two years. Vehicles belonging to English-speaking New Brunswickers will still need…

Source: The Manatee
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