Jesus: Good Friday not so great for Me

item-thumbnailFrom Shawn on “The Manatee”: Jesus: Good Friday not so great for Me

Undisclosed location — More than 2,000 years later, He wouldn’t change a thing….except maybe the holiday name. Granting His first exclusive interview in more than two millennia to The Manatee, Jesus of Nazareth says that He would do it all over again if asked. That said, He admitted the holiday name is mildly annoying to…

Source: The Manatee
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Everybody: Mother Nature didn’t get memo about spring

item-thumbnailFrom Shawn on “The Manatee”: Everybody: Mother Nature didn’t get memo about spring

The Maritimes — According to every single person with lips and a mouth in the Maritime provinces, Mother Nature did not get the memo that Tuesday, March 20 was the first day of spring. “What’s up with this weather? I thought it was spring!” said every single goddamned person, even though they know that’s not how…

Source: The Manatee
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NB Power proposes one-time charges to solve all its problems

item-thumbnailFrom Shawn on “The Manatee”: NB Power proposes one-time charges to solve all its problems

Fredericton — When asked how it is going to solve its financial woes, NB Power riffed on pop star Justin Bieber’s hit song — they are going to do it one-time. On Monday, NB Power announced that they were considering a so-called “weather tax” to pay for unexpected expenses from winter storm damage. The utility…

Source: The Manatee
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Darling wants to listen to fewer Saint Johners complain

item-thumbnailFrom Shawn on “The Manatee”: Darling wants to listen to fewer Saint Johners complain

Saint John — After just half of his term as mayor of Saint John, Don Darling has realized that his current job is more miserable than he previously anticipated. Darling announced this week that he is trying to constrain the amount of bitching and moaning that he needs to endure by running for the provincial…

Source: The Manatee
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NB Power using Point Lepreau to mine Bitcoin

item-thumbnailFrom Shawn on “The Manatee”: NB Power using Point Lepreau to mine Bitcoin

Fredericton — As the March 31 fiscal year-end approaches and the Energy and Utility Board hearings continue, NB Power is lifting the veil on its latest plan to deal with its enormous debt. NB Power CEO Gaëtan Thomas said on Tuesday that the publicly owned utility will use the excess electrical capacity from Point Lepreau Nuclear…

Source: The Manatee
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Man running outside in snowstorm likes being miserable, ridiculous

item-thumbnailFrom Shawn on “The Manatee”: Man running outside in snowstorm likes being miserable, ridiculous

Quispamsis — Robert Frost once said, “You can’t get too much winter in the winter,” — words not lost on a Kennebecasis Valley man jogging outside in the middle of today’s nor’easter snowstorm. A self-described “all-weather runner” on his Facebook profile, the abominable athlete says that “a little snow” will not keep him from running around…

Source: The Manatee
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Trump slaps tariff on food imports with ‘metric calories’

item-thumbnailFrom Shawn on “The Manatee”: Trump slaps tariff on food imports with ‘metric calories’

Washington, D.C. — United States President Donald Trump doubled down on new protectionist policies today by slapping new tariffs on Canadian food imports — in particular, food full of so-called “metric calories.” The president made the statement last night in a tweet where he suggested that Canadian frozen french fries are so full of metric…

Source: The Manatee
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NB gov’t secures payday loan for 2018-19 fiscal year

item-thumbnailFrom Shawn on “The Manatee”: NB gov’t secures payday loan for 2018-19 fiscal year

Fredericton — Despite receiving a “negative” credit assessment from the Dominion Bond Rating Service on Monday, the New Brunswick government says that it has buckets of easy cash to pay for this year’s budget. Today, Finance Minister Cathy Rogers announced that it has secured a lender for the 2018-19 fiscal year, and that the government’s…

Source: The Manatee
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